In “As my father lay dying” (House & Home, May 3) I see that the travel writer Laura Coffey’s experience mirrors my own — I too had briefly left mother to do some routine chores, only to find her gone upon my return.
Like Coffey, I’d had an expectation of how events might unfold and thought that “anticipatory grief” was actually a good thing, providing time in hand to bring order to the obvious turmoil ahead. As it turned out it offered nothing more than a prolonging of the grief.
CS Lewis described loss as “like the sky, spread over everything”. It occurs to me this has a kernel of truth. Lewis also said “ink is the great cure for all human ills”. Coffey, in writing about her loss, would seem to have chosen wisely. So I sense that time is to be the only help, and maybe passing the time with a book may bring about a quicker and more positive outcome to these inevitable experiences.
Ian Jakeway
Derby, Derbyshire, UK
